I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
