that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
