butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
