I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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