let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
