omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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