I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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