I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
