just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
