wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
