i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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