Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We got so high we made milksteak
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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