She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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