i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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