we're blogging at a bar
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
