I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
