I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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