Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
