I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
