she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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