I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
