I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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