Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
