I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So squirting runs in the family.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
