the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
