god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
