WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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