I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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