lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
