I hate all girls vehemently.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
