i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
NoShamevember. You game?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize