You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
