i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
pray to the hookup gods
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
