we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
