My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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