I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
