we're blogging at a bar
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
