need another drink. this is the easiest way
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
