In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
