Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
