I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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