dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
