They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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