when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
