In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
