The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
