i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
