bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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