really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
