wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
