Porn is love you can see.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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