And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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