Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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