What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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