Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
