I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
