No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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