The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
