I intend to get homeless drunk
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize