i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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