Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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