We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
