Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think my moral compass just broke
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
