Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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