Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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