just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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