i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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