Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
