I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
