I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
