It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I am one with the molecules
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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