i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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