She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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