WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
