I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
