Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
