I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
