is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize